positivity

Positivity

Underlying everything is positivity – staying positive and putting out positive energy is the most important ingredient to living a successful life. For our journey to weight loss, success is about a sense of being healthy and happy, and achieving your goals. In the past, we may have achieved some weight loss, but at the expense of our happiness. In order to be really successful, we have to remind ourselves that the two go hand in hand, and real success is about both happiness and achieving our goals. Keeping that in mind, let’s take a look at some basic tenets of positivity:

• Positivity tends to be contagious. We have all noticed the profound effect another’s mood can have on ours. That is because positivity feeds positivity, and conversely, negativity feeds negativity. Sometimes we don’t even realize how quickly we will find ourselves affected by the mood around us, as it happens before we are even aware of it. But we can be aware that it will happen, and be careful of the mood we surround ourselves with.

• Find the positive in everyone: If you focus on the positive aspects of everyone, it is easier to let go of the tendency to judge others. We have all been guilty of this one, especially when we are feeling insulted. At those times, it has been really hard to find the good in the person who insulted us, but this is when we need it the most. This may take a little practice, but we can do it, by catching ourselves every time we are having a negative judgment about someone, and quickly switch our focus to something positive about them.

• No stockpiling allowed: When we have stockpiled in the past, we have found one wrong after another, and before we know it, we are really upset. When we have done this, we have forgotten the bigger picture, often battling over things that don’t really matter. So now, we are going to be more careful: we are going to choose our “battles.” We are going to be aware of the effect stockpiling can have on our mood, and choose to evaluate situations and people based on what really matters to us.

Avoid being indirect: When we have been indirect in the past, we have spoken about people, instead of to them. When we have done this, we have avoiding speaking directly to people, instead speaking about them to others. As we may have been hesitant to let someone know that they have hurt us, of that we are upset with them, we have told everyone else instead. We may have been enticed by the idea that this would make us feel better. However, we know that we have not felt better, as our hurt feelings have continued to fester, making us, and maybe even those around us feel worse. In order to change this, we are going to have to learn to speak directly to those who have hurt us. This may take some practice, and we may be afraid of offending them, but we know that speaking about them is not an alternative to offending them, and sparing our fear. The chances are they would be offended to learn that we have spoken about them, instead of to them. So we must be willing to give up any tendencies we have to engage in being indirect, as we know that this has not helped us in the past, and in order to resolve hurt feelings, we are going to have to speak directly to the source of them.

• Confront negativity with positivity: We have all found ourselves allowing another person’s anger to anger us, making us ready to go to blows with them. Maybe we have even been guilty of road rage, or turning disagreements into violent arguments. When we did, we found that we remained angry for the better part of the day, usually over something that did not really matter. So to learn to generate more positivity in our lives, we are going to learn to disarm situations by responding in a positive manner. If someone is rude to us on the road, we are going to look at them, smile, and say, “my bad,” instead of generating more negativity by responding in kind.

• Change negative thoughts to positive thoughts: We know that in the past we have allowed one negative to lead to another, and before we know it, we are swimming in a sea of self-doubt and fear. Even though these were just thoughts, they have felt very real to us, and have had a powerful affect on us. In order to avoid the snowball effect our negative thoughts can have then, we are going to change doubt to belief; change can’t to can; where you have fear, bring in confidence; instead of complaining, appreciate; and where there is depression, search out enjoyment.